I think that this is a great perspective on supporting.

Of course, not everything should be taken at face value, but if you have 5 minutes of time to spare, I am certain that you’ll take something away from this article.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/217090

There are problems that we would love to ignore. Some we conclude are no longer our problems, and hence not worthy of our attention. Others, we just stop caring about because it threatens to overwhelm us.

I’m landed with one that I can not care less about. I guess its time to be uncomfortable again.

Life’s getting busy and I’m feeling challenged to expand myself. Funny how work starts to pile up, burdens get dropped into my heart and God shows me how far off I really am. All in the same period.

I’m beginning to find solace in struggling in prayer with Him. That as I lay my requests and problems before Him, instead of solving them, He often chooses to show me who I really am. I recall Jie Xun teaching that the miracle of prayer is the life change it brings to us, and I’ve really found that to be so true.

It’s like putting my heart on sand paper and scrubbing away. It must hurt, but it must be raw before Him, then before others.

We know this.

Growth is a natural process. If a person/group is healthy, it should grow.

I believe in that, I really do. I don’t doubt that many of us hold on strongly to this belief, but today I realised that my perspective on growth is still incomplete. (irony!)

Growth occurs as long as necessary conditions are met. For example, a seed germinates when exposed to required levels of water, oxygen. sunlight and temperature. Organisms grow when triggered by relevant hormones, in the presence of sufficient nutrients. So whenever the set conditions are fulfilled, growth occurs.

But here’s where my discovery comes in. I have to own my growth. I need to make choices that will cause me to grow in areas, especially those that I am weak at. I need to put myself in situations where I am forced to expand my understanding and mature my character. I need to embrace discomfort so that I can grow.

I need to know who I am growing into.

I’m not here to grow into the most philanthropic businessman, or the most diplomatic conflict resolver. I’m not here to grow into the most knowledgeable apologist or the most all-rounded rat in the rat race.

I’m here to grow into Jesus.

It makes so much sense when I consider the bonsai plant.

The truly valuable growth is when I grow into who I am created to be.

My end of the deal

So the holidays came, and now they’re almost over. To be frank, I really do think that this has been a great break for me. No doubt the existence of projects means that I am still striving to meet deadlines, but deliberately taking the time out to think and refocus has done me much good.

Okay, back to last week’s madness! (3 x 30% midterm tests. 1 on Tuesday and 2 on Thursday)

I knew that I had to play for service that week, which meant that Wednesday night would be spent at music practice. So I would have to complete studying for both my Thursday papers beforehand. I seriously contemplated switching my playing slot, but the illogical me decided to go ahead with it and stretch myself.

So spiritual, thanks.

Monday came, and I woke up to find my ears ringing and eyes aching badly. Apparently the flu virus that cohabitated with me decided to migrate to my ear canal and basically all over my face. If there were a way to get the text into my mind other than through my eyes/ears, life would probably have been much easier.

Memorising my notes made me feel like I was engaging in a shouting match with a jet engine, but that wasn’t the last of my woes. I still had to practice for Saturday! Now, I do know that my piano playing has the potential to damage eardrums. Haha even I know that it sounds pretty bad alot of the time, but last week was exceptional! It really didn’t take alot for the music to move me, away from the piano. I think I grew a tiny bit more in empathising with people who self-mutilate now.

After Wednesday’s music practice, my bandmates offered to pray for me, and I clearly remembered that one of their prayers was that ‘I would have the discipline to rest early’. Obviously, I thought about my two impending papers and showed a deep appreciation for the sad situation I was caught in.

You know what they say about self-fulfilling prophecies? I know that they’re true to a certain extent, like if you keep telling yourself that you suck, you definitely think that you do. But, I didn’t know that it worked when you made prayers for other people! Well, God certainly answered their prayers (in view of my lack of discipline to rest), and I was jerked awake at 6.45am the next morning amidst the pile of questions I was attempting to solve the night before.

The even more surprising thing was that I wasn’t in the least flustered at all. Or perhaps I was in too zombified a state that morning to engage my full arsenal of panic-inducing emotions. I simply walked to the shower, packed my notes to read on the bus ride and left my home by 7.05am.

Okay, if you haven’t given up reading this manic post yet, I shall now share what I learnt from all this. (and attempt to justify you wasting 2 minutes of your life reading all of the above)

God took my decision to stretch myself and decided to stretch me more. There were so many times where I willed to do more, but the state of my body just would not allow it. That forced me to trust and depend on Him. I think that the peace of God (Philippians 4:6-7) is only experienced when we trust and yield our concerns to Him. There can be no peace if there is no trust.

I am also freshly convicted that God will not shortchange us, but we must not shortchange Him either. There were so many times when I was tempted to neglect my revision and my music, one for the other. But I believe strongly that I need to glorify Him in every aspect of my life because all these are what I am called to do. God definitely did not shortchange me during service, I don’t know about you but I just know that He moved in a big way that day. I’m continuing to trust in Him for my studies too. No perfect scores (I checked with peers lol) but I know that He provided enough for me to go through last week and that’s more than I can thank Him for.

Never beyond

Lord,

I put myself in the position to be tested and stretched this week. I thought it was a step of faith doing this, but clearly You thought that step was too small. I know that You’re taking control of this week and this is all part of the Plan to win Your world, starting with stretching the little that I have.

So I’m not going to use this space to whine or complain. But, I know that there’s going to be a powerful testimony that will arise from this. And I can’t wait. LET’S DO THIS.

btw, thank you to all of you who have been encouraging me this week. It really makes a difference. Also, I’m inspired, QJ, by your sharing and I know that God’s going to show His power through this!
Watch this space for a testimony coming up. I don’t know what it’ll be, but I know there will be one for sure!

I really don’t know

Just at a time when some of my views about the community around me were being challenged at the recent marketplace seminar, I came across an article in the International Herald Tribune. Essentially it highlighted the amazing discovery of 200 oil fields in the past year, the highest in recent times. As with every groundbreaking (literally) piece of news, mixed feelings were reflected. Optimism over the increased supply of finite oil was marred with the concerns of producers that the increased supply would drive prices down.

As I attempted to absorb this piece of news, recollections of a movie I caught recently flooded my mind. Set amidst a backdrop of violence and anarchy, a scene from Blood Diamond featured an African village elder making this statement, ‘I hope they don’t find oil here, or we have a real problem.‘

That mental connection really messed me up for the day.

What is the real price of progress? Our economic optimism comes at the price of lives caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

What can I do about it?

Post Vision Night

It’s been a long week with so many happenings, so I’m going to attempt to capture some of the things that struck me as we served Him during vision night this week.

• There is joy when we serve God! The enthusiasm and the joy emanated by those serving was almost palpable. I’m convinced that we become energized when we serve with a purpose.
• We had a violinist (who likes to drink tea) for worship! How cool is that! I’m not taking anything away from the rest of the band (they did an awesome job ministering), but this is a deep conviction of mine: that we have to keep challenging and advancing ourselves for each and every vision night. I hold on to my belief that this is the ground where we bleed new musicians and nurture them so that they can hone their talents to serve God in a bigger way.
• Some powerful quotes by the legendary Bruce Lee:
  • ‘You can have everyone around the boat, but that doesn’t mean they’re all helping to carry it’
  • ‘What are mooncakes made of? Moon right?’ (some people nod their heads) Bruce, incredulously, ‘I say moon you all also believe ah. Mooncakes are made of paste lah.’
  • ‘Hardship will come. But the real question is, for what purpose are we suffering it for?’
  • Using the analogy of DotA, ‘Some of us give up too easily. When we see the enemy, what do we do? We go to hug the fountain and think we will be safe there. but don’t forget, the pudge can still hook you out.’
  • Investing in lives, Influencing camps and Impacting the world supports the Great Commission
• Seeing people step up and offer to serve never fails to encourage me!
• We broke the record for the latest vision night ever. But that didn’t deter us from staying on to seek God and pray!
• I was reminded of how we signed off on that huge map banner 2 years back. Grim determination guiding our hands as we wrote down our names to our camps. Mine wrote ‘2LT Lau. Chong Pang Camp.’ Looking back now, I’m so honoured and humbled that God is still allowing me to be part of his redemptive work for His people in this phase of life. today

I suppose that a man dreams at night, his mind assaulted with flights of fantasy and notions of valour. But he awakes to find his adventures beguiled by a strange veil. As he rises to his feet, he makes his way to the bathroom mirror, shrugging off the vague remains of visions from the night before. Caught up in the present as he focuses his groggy eyes on the unkempt that lies in the reflection before him, he begins to lose himself in the mundane.

The First Day

Tonight was the first time I exercised in a long while. And I’m convinced that one of my favourite places to meet Him is at the familiar spot in the nearby reservoir, where I reflect (pun!) over the expanse of waters.

So there I stood, just above the waters edge, trying to make out the distinction between the waters and the sky. The familiar sight of the evening sun clinging onto the horizon’s edge was long gone. All that greeted me was the drone of crickets and the darkness ahead.

And then, I was just reminded of the creation moment.

¹ In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

² Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

- Genesis 1:1-2

I suddenly felt as if that was the closest I’d get to how it’d feel when the earth was just being created. God worked in the dark!

Have you ever stayed up late to finish a present for someone? You could probably be doing other things like having more sleep or attending to your own matters, but you’re doing it because that person means a lot to you. So while you struggle to keep your eyes opened as you cut/paste/draw/glue the gift together, you’re running through in your mind how the recipient would react. ‘Would he/she exclaim in excitement? How would he/she use it?’ you rehearse the countless possibilities.

Maybe that’s a bit of how God felt then? As he prepared the universe for us, working in the dark, creating the splendour that meets our eyes.

All the while remembering about how much He delights in us.

We’re like cups

It’s been 4 months now, and I’ve left this at Jon’s house for the same amount of time. (Jon, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry!)

Anyway, it’s sitting in my room now. And I don’t know what to do with it. I stare at it, remember its associations, think about people. And I still don’t know what I will do with it. (PLEASE, if you have a good idea, let me know. I can’t leave this in RELC and I don’t think I will bring this out to service every week. It’ll probably disintegrate in a few weeks.)

So this is it.

I can still see Joel’s dark chocolate cake’s stain on Shawn’s cup. If I remember correctly, the deed was probably done by Luke. They had a thing for chocolate and each other during Uni-YA camp.

I see some cards left in some of the cups. Mostly belonging to people who never showed up for the camp and subsequently after that.

I think that those chocolate stain sum up my feelings right now. Bitter sweet.

I guess we’re like cups. We have a fixed capacity. We need to fill it up with the right things. If we don’t, then displacement occurs.

We need to fill each others’ cups as well. Because in the end, we are what we’ve allowed ourselves to be filled by.

Anyway, if you’re from NS East and you’re reading this, I want to let you know that for next year’s camp, I intend to make an encouragement board that’s twice as large and with twice as many cups on it. Time to buck the trend, let’s do this.